Appearances are not deceptive, vision is!

It was a pleasant day when I and my girlfriends planned to go for lunch at this fancy place. When you go out with your girlfriends, lunches or dinners are an excuse to click zillion pictures and spam with another million filters. So, we dressed up like those firangi bloggers, one wearing the bag belt while another with flared pants.

The first two to arrive somehow got in a fight, not a cat fight tho. It was something funny and sugary, just like we see online and before anyone reached, it was already sorted. Might sound odd but trust me, I have seen in all. After studying in a girls’ school for so long. Now that I look back, the arguments are obscure but the outline stayed in my mind.

There was a wall, one claimed it to be blue while the other said it was yellow. They both assumed they were right until they removed glare from their sight, not metaphorically and it ended the so-called fight. The wall was actually painted white.

And they say appearances are deceptive!

Let me make a hypothetical situation and make you feel a little special. Suppose you are made to choose the president/leader of your democratic/dictatorial country between the two men who looked like each other’s doppelgänger. One has had four wives and eleven children and made love with his female co-workers. He was also slandered by the FBI and banned from the USA. The other was a loving man and had a happy family with his wife and nine children. Furthermore, was deeply concerned about his countrymen and wanted them to flourish in all parts of the world but was a solemnly impulsive man.

You’d choose the second one thinking he might be the harbinger of the new age. But what if I told you that the one who seemed like the knight in the shining armour was none other then Adolf Hitler and the other poor fella was Charlie Chaplin. You might be potentially forfeiting and now, to the limited section of the audience who choose the first option, bless your delusional heart because you won’t get that power any time! *sighs*

And then they say, looks don’t matter. Who they are from inside does! But then before knowing someone from inside, you drift away from that gauche airhead anyway. Doesn’t sound less than attracting the rat with no bait1

Going back to from where it all started. “Appearances can be deceptive” has become a phase to talk/debate endlessly about and here is to breaking that shackle which makes you bring your worthy words on the table every time.

Looking back, we have one a long way, thanks to evolution. One such drastic development which remained unnoticed was, along with “to err is human” we evolved to “to judge is human!” We presume too quick and conclude even quicker whenever we see something odd in the sea. Many face this flinch to judge immediately but some don’t; they are limited. That little spark in our head which lead to the cohere of thoughts leads to perception leads to a twitch on our face leads to a chemical reaction in our body leads to you thinking that you already have the “ace” to this game of knowing all about the “odd”, which to thy sad condemnation, isn’t true.

Appearances are what on the outside and the first instant thought to flit in our minds is the reflection of our own. What we see and dislike instantly is nothing else but the little things about ourself that we fail to accept. We have all heard, the first impression is the last impression and now that first impression is not the last one but surely the long lasting one. Strangely what happens with me is that the first impression is the wrong one!

The other day when heading to the temple, I came across an old lady, begging with torn clothes and barefoot but I could sense something different in her, I still don’t know what was it! I was walking towards the temple when she came to me and asked for money cause she wanted to start doing something of her own. Yes, I know that’s a trap but somehow I felt different (curiosity more than sympathy) while talking to her so I handed her ₹20 and moved forward thinking that might contribute a very small amount to something that she’ll start off with but I didn’t wanna go back as well. Some fifteen minutes or so when I was returning, what I saw didn’t really startle me but yes, it did shake me a bit! She was casually sitting under a tree while smoking a cigarette. The first impression went wrong!

When I went to the very first debating conference of my life, a guitarist performing had my eyes glued on him. Thought, he was this decent sweet introvert person with a contagious smile. But turns out he was very open and was known as the ‘Casanova’ of his school. The first impression went terribly wrong.

So, overall these experiences, I could conclude that first impressions are the wrong ones.

This is not to give birth to self-scepticism but to realising something that we don’t. The worst thing about our fleeting thoughts and piffle belief that makes it horribly unreliable is the fact that they are malleable. The more our ability to think grows, the more this malleability increases.

To see the beauty in everything is around you doesn’t mean beauty prevails everywhere. It means that there is so much beauty inside of you that you can not help, but see it everywhere.

~H

(photo credit: https://instagram.com/fabio_la_fauci?igshid=1b4xubaqwx4f7)

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Selling hopes and dreams

Before I started believing what was shown,

I wish I knew the unknown.

So what if I might not have been strong,

and tons heft the wrong.

It was just a side of dull sad stories,

complied without worries

Sometimes, a family member is never heard,

advertisements always overheard.

From a body mist alluring women,

youngester are driven.

To a nail paint bossing the headlines,

in the mall, inviting long lines.

A car that didn’t fit the whole family,

has an EMI staring at rupees five thousand only.

A Sea facing 3 BHK flat

unlike before, no rats.

Downstairs a garden to roam,

house with no view still was a home

Who knew confidence and beauty

all came in pills,

the sweaty shaky hands and pimple pits

had a heavy bill.

For insomnia, luxury pillow and bed sheets,

A farmer without none had the best sleep.

It’s funny

Rugged clothes mean trendy

While an old sweater woven by mother

Has dust from the very next day it was ready

Washing powers assuring no stains,

clean clothes with conspiracy in brains.

Cricketers sold to inverter battery,

when did dancing become their cup of tea?

Posters of coaching institutions never heard of,

swear IIT students nurtured with free love.

Spectacle glasses claim for clear vision,

but we still dream without wearing it on.

Marketing for votes in their favour,

tell us how bad days are over.

We are bound to believe,

While surfing internet or watching TV.

Yellow template comes with newspaper,

like a child was planned, but born two

“The best burgers in the town”, they say,

tempted stomach says, “I must go and try it one day.”

Turned on my laptop to see the solutions to my questions,

somehow, found myself scrolling down a clothing website, popped up in suggestions.

So before I started believing what was shown

I wish I knew they tell me what I wasn’t rather than what I could have been

~H

(Photo credits: https://instagram.com/rithikamerchant?igshid=hit1qhsdzvc6 )

My body, my choice

A few men deciding what we should do with our bodies,

But hasn’t it always been like that ladies?

In school, the shame that comes with blood stain,

The immodesty of breast-feeding your baby on the train.

You want a baby boy,

But not getting one is your fault.

The narrower waists and broad hips,

Orgasms you fake for their sake.

The 9pm curfews,

All the body shame, revert a few.

The virginity tests you fail,

On the first night of marriage.

The fertility tests you fail,

After another miscarriage.

The ease with which they violate your body,

The shame, the child is all yours to carry.

The rules and the dictates,

A 16 year listens and follows, teary words swallowed.

Contrary are many

This is the greatest of any

They say, “Women, raise your voice”

But noisy news rejoice

But who are they to decide our fate?

There is nothing selfish in giving yourself a chance to reclaim.

Don’t unilaterally decide what I should do with my body

Body hair, scars, marks or the baby

I’ll decide alone

I might decide together

What’s for me to lose

And what’s for me to carry

(Photo credits: https://instagram.com/rithikamerchant?igshid=fvu2ev2o1yh8)

Pro-blems

There is little that is unique and special about our problems.

Somehow, the ‘little’ about our problems makes us forget about what isn’t exquisite in a little proportion, ie, our life or the reality for that matter.

The other day, I got a box with ten compartment each having ten sunflower in it. Two days later, the other nine sunflowers of one of the compartments were ruined. Let’s imagine you at my place now.

Unintentionally and of course not practically, from then and there you start to countdown until all the flowers die.

In this case, the whole box is our life and that one little compartment is the problem.

The sunflowers add up to the special elements in our lives.

Rather than emptying that particular compartment, we create a negative mundane aura that the other flowers too won’t survive. Similarly, when hardships or bad times come in our way, for once we forget our entire life and just stress about the could have! That what our problem do to us. That little something unique and special makes us forget about something filled with uniqueness and speciality! Well, that’s the beauty of what comes our way as ‘too little’. We notice it a little too much! This why always neglecting our problems is the best way out of the situation.

So, what if I took that compartment out of the entire box? What if I have one less compartment in my box? What if that little empty space is for something new to fill with, for say roses?

Problems come in our way as an indication that we are constantly moving forward and what we forget is, it is us versus ourselves rather us versus our problems. Mishaps happen to test ourselves if we are grateful for the nine compartments completely filled with flowers or stress about the other nine ones not there.

Not to confuse my point, keeping that little next to empty compartment out of the box doesn’t mean to completely forget about it as it is still a part of the box. To completely neglect is to be delusionally positive. To focus on neglecting it to a point where it doesn’t harm you, that, that is liberating.

(Photo credits: https://instagram.com/denis_sarazhin?igshid=1rg8uft6c6bw0 )