My body, my choice

A few men deciding what we should do with our bodies,

But hasn’t it always been like that ladies?

In school, the shame that comes with blood stain,

The immodesty of breast-feeding your baby on the train.

You want a baby boy,

But not getting one is your fault.

The narrower waists and broad hips,

Orgasms you fake for their sake.

The 9pm curfews,

All the body shame, revert a few.

The virginity tests you fail,

On the first night of marriage.

The fertility tests you fail,

After another miscarriage.

The ease with which they violate your body,

The shame, the child is all yours to carry.

The rules and the dictates,

A 16 year listens and follows, teary words swallowed.

Contrary are many

This is the greatest of any

They say, “Women, raise your voice”

But noisy news rejoice

But who are they to decide our fate?

There is nothing selfish in giving yourself a chance to reclaim.

Don’t unilaterally decide what I should do with my body

Body hair, scars, marks or the baby

I’ll decide alone

I might decide together

What’s for me to lose

And what’s for me to carry

(Photo credits: https://instagram.com/rithikamerchant?igshid=fvu2ev2o1yh8)

Death without funeral

Why do we shed tears

Accuse god to be unfair

Kill the possibilities of another Friday movie night

No more dips on the last cheesy slice

I often wonder why

We lament and cry

To see then quit their fight

They might had every night

Why do we mourn to see our loved ones leaving their soul?

Is it because we are yet too ignorant,

To realise that it is not the only way people are lost?

But then what about those lovers we stopped to kiss,

Friends from another town we forgot to miss,

What about the maid who raised you,

Kindergarten teacher who played with you.

Why do we never mourn people who left our lives in a way other than death?

Why no funerals for them?

Is it because we think we can still reach back to them if we try?

You lose them without them having to die.

Yet you ask me if I’m okay only at funerals

But how to tell you that death is not the only way I have lost people, I once loved.

~H

(Photo credit:https://instagram.com/geraldbrom?igshid=olmgfcg1w3lc)

Fool

I often wonder how easy our lives would be,

if we did not take ourselves too seriously.

Who are we offer all?

Our mistakes or the failures

Or our choices or the victorious?

We have seen it all,

the world remembers and forgets.

In the selfish hypocrisy and capricious convenience,

we spend our lives so carefully.

Polishing the jewels in our crown,

just like we whitewash our secrets, holding them so close

and between plastic smiles and subdued eyes,

we forget what we want may not be sinned

and what if we shined?

So we listen to them for years together as they say-

Don’t love him yet, you should make him wait

Don’t just dream too big, rather get in a uni

Don’t go out with undone hair, that’s not sane

Don’t wear white all the time, what will Aunty Ahuja say?

We start taking ourselves too seriously and

we lose the courage to quit and start again.

We spend our whole lives building glass castles,

while our hearts wane and wither

Only foolish follow their hearts,

it’s sensible to be practical

When we are told all this,

My mind aimlessly wanders..

To what season would it have been when fear begun defining the rational?

All the riches we amass only cause bitter family feuds after our funeral,

Who can guarantee the Brahmin you’ll marry would not cheat on you with his god fearing Christian lover?

I don’t want to be a prophet of doom,

But was all of that ever worth it?

We often assume following our hearts and passion would ruin us

But the world has already plotted and planned its barriers-

of status and religion,

wars and strategies with careful arrogance.

Placed us in neatly measured boxes of

class, sex and caste,

So can think and feel

just as right as much

But where has that gotten us?

~H

(Photo credit:https://instagram.com/rithikamerchant?igshid=102xhkmkiczfj)

Appearances are not deceptive, vision is!

After feeling the monotonous prickly heat for the last several weeks, it was the incarceration of a pleasant sunny day when I and my girlfriends planned to go for lunch at this fancy place. So there is a thing when you go out with your girlfriends, lunches or dinners are an epitome of clicking zillion pictures and spam with another million filters. We dressed up like those firangi bloggers, one wearing the bag belt while another with flared pants.

The first two to arrive somehow wrapped themselves in a fight. It was something funny and sugary, just like the once we online and it unwrapped with an outburst of laughter.

Might sound odd but trust me, I have seen in all after alighting my mind in the blaze of knowledge while studying in a girl’s school. Now that I look back, the arguments are definitely obscure but the outline stayed in my mind.

There was a wall; one claimed it to be blue while the other said it was yellow. They both assumed they were right until they removed glare from their sight, not metaphorically and it ended the so-called fight. The wall was actually painted white. Our brains are like nothing bur meaning machines.

And they say appearances are deceptive!

Let me make a hypothetical situation and make you feel a little special. Suppose you are made to choose the president/leader of your democratic/dictatorial country between the two men who looked like each other’s doppelganger. One has had four wives and eleven children and made love with his female co-workers. Also got slandered by the FBI and banned from the USA. The other was a loving man and had a happy family with his wife and nine children after seeing crucial existential hardships in the early years of his life. His extended his deep concernment towards his fellow countrymen and the vision picturing them to flourish in all parts of the world was a remarkable quality, but was a solemnly impulsive man.

Probability of choosing the second one is slightly higher  and you might choose him thinking he might be the harbinger of the new age.

Pulling of the curtain, the second one who, seemed like the knight in the shining armor was none other than Adolf Hitler and the other poor fella was Charlie Chaplin. You might be potentially forfeiting and now, to the limited section of the audience who choose the first option, bless your delusional heart because you won’t get that power any time! *sighs*

This is one is for them who says inner beauty or the personality matters and not the looks! It doesn’t sound less than attracting the rat with no bait.

But then ‘deeper you dig, more you know’ doesn’t even happen in the case of a gauche airhead. Believe it or not, fiscal is the major thing which would or wouldn’t drive you miles to see the inner beauty.

Going back to the pitch now. “Appearances can be deceptive” has become a phase to talk/debate endlessly about and here is to breaking that shackle of beliefs which makes you bring your worthy words on the table every time.

We have a long way to see back, thanks to evolution. One such drastic development which remained unnoticed was, along with “to err is human” we evolved to “to judge is human!” We presume too quickly and conclude even quicker whenever we see something odd in the sea.

Many face this flinch to judge immediately but some don’t; they are limited. That little spark in our head which lead to the cohere of thoughts leads to perception leads to a twitch on our face leads to a chemical reaction in our body leads to you thinking that you already have the “ace” to this game of knowing all about the “odd”, which to thy sad condemnation, isn’t true.

These not so subtle images in our mind driven from this process isn’t even real and already distinguish what about them is likable and what is not while forgetting that appearances are what we just see on the outside and the first instant thought to flit in our minds is the reflection of our own. What we see and dislike instantly is nothing else but the little things about our self we fail to accept and sprinkle on the instant image formed.

We have all heard, the first impression is the last impression and now that first impression is not the last one but surely the long lasting one. Strangely in my case, the first impression is usually the wrong one!

The other day while walking towards the temple, I came across an old begging lady. She wore torn clothes and was barefooted but I could sense something different in her but indecisive about what exactly. I could see her path clear towards me and you know why! Handing down a penny I moved forward as she told me a very convenient lie, she wanted to start something or her own. Yes, I know that’s a trap but somehow I felt different (curiosity more than sympathy) while talking to her, in a good way. Couple of minutes later when I was returning, I saw something that quite honestly startled me when unconsciously it shouldn’t have. She was casually sitting under a tree while smoking a cigarette. The first impression went terribly wrong!

This is not to give birth to self-skepticism but to realizing something that we don’t, furthermore, we wouldn’t! The worst thing about our fleeting thoughts and piffle belief that makes it horribly unreliable is that they are malleable. The more our brain grows and thinks, more the malleability increases.

Back again to claiming appearances are deceptive, to see and picture all that we do on a simple outlook isn’t something that necessarily prevails. Just like to see the beauty in everything is around you doesn’t mean beauty prevails everywhere. It has much more to do with your inner beauty which cannot be confided but just over flows. It means you are so filled beauty that you simply see it everywhere.

So aren’t our vision deceptive and not the appearances?

(photo credit: https://instagram.com/fabio_la_fauci?igshid=1b4xubaqwx4f7)

Selling hopes and dreams

Before I started believing what was shown,

I wish I knew the unknown.

So what if I might not have been strong,

and tons heft the wrong.

It was just a side of dull sad stories,

complied without worries

Sometimes, a family member is never heard,

advertisements always overheard.

From a body mist alluring women,

youngester are driven.

To a nail paint bossing the headlines,

in the mall, inviting long lines.

A car that didn’t fit the whole family,

has an EMI staring at rupees five thousand only.

A Sea facing 3 BHK flat

unlike before, no rats.

Downstairs a garden to roam,

house with no view still was a home

Who knew confidence and beauty

all came in pills,

the sweaty shaky hands and pimple pits

had a heavy bill.

For insomnia, luxury pillow and bed sheets,

A farmer without none had the best sleep.

It’s funny

Rugged clothes mean trendy

While an old sweater woven by mother

Has dust from the very next day it was ready

Washing powers assuring no stains,

clean clothes with conspiracy in brains.

Cricketers sold to inverter battery,

when did dancing become their cup of tea?

Posters of coaching institutions never heard of,

swear IIT students nurtured with free love.

Spectacle glasses claim for clear vision,

but we still dream without wearing it on.

Marketing for votes in their favour,

tell us how bad days are over.

We are bound to believe,

While surfing internet or watching TV.

Yellow template comes with newspaper,

like a child was planned, but born two

“The best burgers in the town”, they say,

tempted stomach says, “I must go and try it one day.”

Turned on my laptop to see the solutions to my questions,

somehow, found myself scrolling down a clothing website, popped up in suggestions.

So before I started believing what was shown

I wish I knew they tell me what I wasn’t rather than what I could have been

~H

(Photo credits: https://instagram.com/rithikamerchant?igshid=hit1qhsdzvc6 )

Pro-blems

There is little that is unique and special about our problems.

Somehow, the ‘little’ about our problems makes us forget about what isn’t exquisite in a little proportion, ie, our life or the reality for that matter.

The other day, I got a box with ten compartment each having ten sunflower in it. Two days later, the other nine sunflowers of one of the compartments were ruined. Let’s imagine you at my place now.

Unintentionally and of course not practically, from then and there you start to countdown until all the flowers die.

In this case, the whole box is our life and that one little compartment is the problem.

The sunflowers add up to the special elements in our lives.

Rather than emptying that particular compartment, we create a negative mundane aura that the other flowers too won’t survive. Similarly, when hardships or bad times come in our way, for once we forget our entire life and just stress about the could have! That what our problem do to us. That little something unique and special makes us forget about something filled with uniqueness and speciality! Well, that’s the beauty of what comes our way as ‘too little’. We notice it a little too much! This why always neglecting our problems is the best way out of the situation.

So, what if I took that compartment out of the entire box? What if I have one less compartment in my box? What if that little empty space is for something new to fill with, for say roses?

Problems come in our way as an indication that we are constantly moving forward and what we forget is, it is us versus ourselves rather us versus our problems. Mishaps happen to test ourselves if we are grateful for the nine compartments completely filled with flowers or stress about the other nine ones not there.

Not to confuse my point, keeping that little next to empty compartment out of the box doesn’t mean to completely forget about it as it is still a part of the box. To completely neglect is to be delusionally positive. To focus on neglecting it to a point where it doesn’t harm you, that, that is liberating.

(Photo credits: https://instagram.com/denis_sarazhin?igshid=1rg8uft6c6bw0 )